I Have a Problem
by MuchTooOld
Summary: James Sirius Potter has a problem and her name is Vera Elliot, one of Albus's best friends. She's condescending and bossy and a Slytherin. To make it all worse, he loves her, and she loves him. Unfortunately, she's not his to have.
1. Chapter 1

My name is James Sirius Potter and I have a problem.

And it's not entirely my fault I have this problem. I can blame Al. In fact, I most certainly will blame Al. He's the one that brought the problem into my life. But of course, it is my fault that I entered into conversation and… other things with the problem. So I guess, in a way, this is my fault. Although I think that the problem has its share of blame in this predicament.

But the problem is only part of the problem. The other part of the problem is that I don't really mind having the problem. And this is really, really, really bad. Because I shouldn't like something that causes as much trouble as my problem does. It's rather stupid of me.

What's also rather stupid of me is continuing this problem. I mean, I know that I don't mind it, but really, that shouldn't be that big of a hindrance in stopping having the problem. There's no possible way anything good can come from this problem. Nothing. Every scenario I play through my head just ends in disaster. But I don't care. That's part of the problem.

So I'm sure you're wondering what exactly this monumental problem is. You're thinking; it can't possibly be as bad as you're making it out to be.

Well, you're wrong, because it is and it's worse.

Here's my problem. Let's say, oh I don't know, you had a younger brother named Albus Severus Potter and this brother delighted in making friends that were outside of his own beloved Gryffindor house. And this brother had several close friends in all four houses. And he just loved inviting these friends over on holidays and living at their houses for weeks on end. And of course, a few of these very close friends happened to be female. Now, let's pretend these friends of this brother were mostly nice people and you felt nothing towards them other than brotherly love. But, and we're still pretending here, let's say that there was one of your brother's friends who was female who was not particularly nice. In fact, this girl is downright rude sometimes. She's determined and condescending and to make it all worse, she's a Slytherin.

This certain friend, whom we will call Vera Elliot, because that's her name, is my problem. She drives me absolutely insane. She always has to be right and what's worse, she usually is. She's supercilious and… yeah, you get the point.

Now, I'm sure you're thinking I could manage to deal with one friend of my brother's who drives me insane. But you see I can't. Because I kind of, sort of, like her.

No, that's a lie. I love Vera. She's just so… Her.

Now, here's where she becomes a problem. She's engaged and not to me. Which is really, really annoying, because she happened to let it slip that she loves me too. And there's not much either of us can do about the situation because… well you'll see why later.

And my problem only gets worse from here. My problem is currently curled up beside me, in my bed, on the eve of her wedding. She shouldn't be here. It's actually not good at all that's she here. But I don't care.

I want her for this last night. I want her before she's stolen from me and I can never be with her again. Because I love her, and she loves me.


	2. Chapter 2

Vera has a tendency to make an entrance. Actually, entrances are her thing. She likes to walk in a room and know that everyone is looking at her and forming an idea of who she is and where she's been. Everywhere she goes she does this, even to places that she's already been with people she knows.

Take tonight for example. I was sitting in the small flat I had bought in London alone, studiously avoiding anything that would give me any indication of the date or really anything that mildly resembled something you'd find at a wedding. So in short, I was reading _Hogwarts, A History. _I was silently thanking my aunt for convincing me to keep all my text books on the basis of "You never know when you'll need it." And I was actually successful for a little bit. I didn't think of Vera for a good hour.

I swear; it's like she has a sensor for when she's not present in my thoughts. Because, right when I was about to fall asleep over my old text book, there was a knock on the door. I got up grudgingly and shuffled over to the door. When I opened it, I will admit that I was a bit stunned.

She was soaking wet. I hadn't realized it was pouring outside. But this isn't really what had me flabbergasted. You see, she's rather attractive in my opinion, well, in a lot of people's opinions. And there she was, with clothes that were plastered to her stupid body showing off every one of her stupid curves and muscles. She looked up at me with her pale brown eyes and I realized she had been crying.

Vera doesn't cry. I stepped aside immediately and let her in.

She stepped inside and shivered and looked at me. "James," she croaked. I stepped over to her and put my hand on her shoulder tentatively. I was a bit scared. Not only had I never seen her cry (not going to lie, I was a bit at a loss for what to do), but she had made it perfectly clear the last time we had been around each other that I was not to touch her, or look at her. Or do anything that really involved her and me.

I was so convinced she was going to turn around and kick me in the kneecap. She had done that once before, and I was in no way eager to repeat the experience. But she didn't kick me. She curled up against my chest and started to sob. I just held her close and let her get it all out. "James, I don't want—I can't—James…"

"Sh," I whispered, "It will be okay." I was lying of course. But I didn't know what else to say. But it seemed to work. She stopped crying as hard as she had been and reached her arms around me and pulled us closer together.

I had missed having her so close.

You see what I mean? She can make an entrance. Although, I will admit, the first time  
>I saw one of her entrances, I was less inclined to give her a hug than I was to hide under a seat.<p>

"_James, can't I sit by you for just the first little bit?" _Al asked_._

I looked at him_. "Hell no," _I replied. I didn't mind Al. But there was no way that I was going to let my little brother sit by me. He was a first year, and I was a second year. It just wasn't done.

He looked down at his feet sadly and started to shuffle away down the corridor. I almost called for him to come back. I wonder if I had if I'd be sitting here with Vera. But I didn't. I just turned to go find my friends. I knew that had saved me a seat.

That's when I saw Vera. She was leaning in an open doorway and staring out after Al.

She had been taller than me then. She had hit her growth spurt early and had been taller than most everyone until her fourth year. Her height was the first I noticed about her back then though.

The next thing was her eyes. They were shockingly pale and managed to pierce everything around them. I could tell from just her eyes that she was smart. And not only in school thing; she looked like she understood people and events. She looked like a plan in place for everything and everyone around her.

I will admit here, in my thoughts to the universe, that I was really intimidated by her. She had an air of confidence that eleven year olds are just not supposed to have.

"_Well you can come sit with us if you like," _she called out to my brother.

Al had spun around. He was a bit confused. Understandably so. When he was little no one outside of our family talked to him. They just didn't talk to him. He was shy and always relied on me for social events.

"_I—uh, well I was going to go and find my cousin—"_

She had smiled at his awkwardness. It wasn't a mean smile. Her smile made her a lot more approachable. _"Well, isn't that just your luck because Miss Rose Weasely has already joined us."_

Rose had poked her head out of the compartment and smiled down at him. This really made him relax. He walked towards the compartment and there was a flurry of greetings from the various kids huddled into the apartment. He really wouldn't ever go anywhere without this little group of friends again.

Vera had stared me down. Like her said, her gaze made me uncomfortable. It was terrifying for some reason. I looked away and when I looked back up, she was already turning back into the compartment. I will admit I awkwardly stared after her, wondering who in God's name she was. I probably would've stayed like that until we reached Hogsmede if one of my friends hadn't come up behind me and pulled me after him.

I can't believe that I'm remembering that time. That first time we saw each other. I mean, out of all the memories to have while holding a beautiful girl in your arms, the memory of when you saw her as a little girl and she scared the shit out of you? Romantic.

Although, as I tilt her head up to look at her face and look into her eyes, I have to admit that she still terrifies me. But then I was terrified _of_ her. Now I'm terrified _for_ her. Of losing her, of her doing something stupid, of her just forgetting about me, or of her never forgetting about me. Her eyes get me on this train of thought. Dammit.

She gets on her tiptoes and kisses me. I kiss her back. With our eyes closed, I can forget for a minute that she scares me. I can focus on the fact that I love her.


	3. Chapter 3

Vera is currently curled up against me. She's looking in my eyes and whispering things in my ear. Stuff she says she's been holding in for such a long time. Like what terrifies her about getting married to the dick she's engaged to, what she wishes her life was like, how much she loves me, you know, little things like that.

"I'm so sorry," I keep saying. And I am. She deserves better. And I'm not just talking about myself here. Really, almost anyone is better than what she's getting.

I remember the first time I saw Lycus, and my opinion of him hasn't changed of him over the years.

It was the morning after Al's sorting. He was looking a bit down in the dumps. Everyone he had ridden to Hogwarts with, with the exception of our cousin Rose, had been sorted into different houses. Vera was Slytherin, Michael and Elena were Hufflepuffs, and Jackson was a Ravencalw. I, personally, was pleased. I didn't like the look of Vera back then. I guess she scared me.

But my relief did not last for long. Because almost as soon as she entered the room, Vera waltzed right on over to the Hufflepuff table, grabbed Michael and Elena by the back of their robes and more or less hauled them to their feet. Then they followed her to where she dragged Jackson off of his bench. She then stopped on her way over to where Al was and strolled back to where Scorpius sat by himself and she knocked him on his feet. Then they followed her past the hundreds of shocked faces and sat down around my brother at the Gryffindor table. I will admit that I was among the many who stared at them with my jaw dropped.

"_Who does she think she _is," people whispered. Well, while everyone else in the little group she had gathered was talking in hushed tones with their heads bent, Vera didn't even seem to notice people were staring. She talked like no one was looking. I had to give her that, she was amazingly confident. She still is. Just not tonight

Anyway, they had been talking to each other, getting more comfortable with each other. Vera was introducing Scorpius to her little party and he timidly shook everyone's hand. Al hesitated for a moment before shaking his hand. For a moment I thought there was going to be a redeeming moment for my brother and he was going to behave like a normal Gryffindor now. But I was wrong, and he shook his hand, and now, ten years later, he and my brother are almost as inseparable. I swear, the only time their apart is when Al is off chasing some girl and Scorpius is every so subtly, for lack of a better word, courting my sister. But that's a story for another time.

All was well in their little group for the first half hour of their group's first gathering. The others slowly got louder as they grew more comfortable in the spotlight. Soon the people in the Great Hall turned away slowly and drifted to other conversations. Although I could still hear snatches of people who were flabbergasted over what just happened.

"_Your brother is weird." _My friend Allan told me. I nodded in agreement. At the time I could not believe what shame he was bringing to the Potter name.

But there he was, talking to his little group of friends. Rose had been further down the table when this all began. But soon she was there as well. Me and my cousins of the Weasley clan looked down in shock. I wondered who Uncle Ron would hear from first that his daughter was not only consorting with Slytherins, she was sitting next to the son of his nemesis.

Slowly the Hall started to thin and the little group my brother was now in was standing around and comparing schedules. It seemed that everyone had at least one other subject with someone else. It was just weird to see Hufflepuffs jump in joy to realize that they had a subject with Slytherins and then _hug them._

And this is where I first met Lycus. Even as an eleven year old, you could see that one day he was going to be attractive. And he knew it.

He swaggered up to the group with his posse of Slytherins. Some were boys twice his size and three years older than he. He smirked at their ragtag group of houses.

_"Oh, Vera. It doesn't do to be desperate."_

Vera has this look she gives that puts Medusa to shame. But as Lycus is a dick and not a man, it really doesn't seem to have an effect on him.

_"I mean, if you really needed some friends, I think we could've found _someone _in Slytherin who would've been willing to befriend you." _His friends howled with laughter while my brother's friends bristled with rage.

_"I wouldn't befriend anyone who would willingly come within six feet of you, Lycus." _She replied back without batting an eye.

He cast a cool eye around her and her friends. _"Afraid of quality, are you?"_

And then Rose, whom Elena had been holding back, broke free and strolled up and put her hands on her hips. _"I do believe she's afraid of catching whatever mental disease that had lodged in their brains."_

His stupid thugs pulled out their wands, but little Lycus motioned for them to put them back. He slowly side stepped Rose and nodded towards the little group. _"Aren't you just _charming?_" _he told her. _"Well, we must be going." _And he strolled out of the room slowly.

Vera looked out at him in disgust. When her friends gathered around to ask what happened, I passed them by.

_"But who was he?" _Al asked.

_"Why does he hate you?" _inquired Jackson.

_"He's the son of a family friend," _was all she said. She spun around right into me. She hardly looked at me as she stepped aside. I wonder if I actually made any impression on her for at least a year. It's rather unfair that even before I liked her she was in my thoughts and I that I wasn'ts in hers once.

But back to why she's curled up in bed with me. I had led her sobbing to my bed and she lied crying on my bed. I was close by her.

She put up with Lycus for so long. I think it's scaring her that she's realizing that she's never going to be rid of him.

"Vera, look at me." She looks up at me. Her eyes are rimmed with red from the sheer amount of crying. "You can do this." I tell her. I know I can't, but she can, she's stronger than me.

"I don't want to," she replied flatly.

"I don't want you to have to."

She sits up suddenly. "I'm sorry, James. I shouldn't have come." She starts untangling herself from the sheets, but I stop her.

"Stop." She doesn't listen to me. God, why can't she just ever listen? I put my hands on her legs. "Please, stop." I think it's the fact my voice broke a bit that she stopped. She looks me in the eyes. "I'm glad you came. I've been hoping you'd come for three months."

"Why?" She's calmed down. And now there's just one tear rolling down her face instead of a continuous stream.

"Because it means you still need me," I say as I put my hand to both sides of her face. I move my thumb along her cheek and wipe away her tear.

"Of course I need you," she says softly.

It's stupid, but of course my heart and my stomach do this little acrobatic trick they do whenever she admits she's a little bit in love with me. It's annoying.

I lean down and give her a little peck on the lips. She doesn't let me be all self-controlled though. Not tonight. She pulls me down to her lips and holds me.

"Can I stay for the night?" she asks. I can't imagine she actually thinks I could say no. Not when I can have one more night of her all to me. I nod slowly. This is a mistake. My brain is actually slapping itself right now. Luckily for me, some other part of my brain is shooting that part to get it to shut up and my heart is cheering it on.

She lights up. Good God, she really thought I'd say no. I pull her close to me and she holds me while she starts to sob again. She's shaking and it scares me. Vera…

She eventually stops shaking so hard and whispers a question in my ear. I freeze as I contemplate what she's asking. On the one hand, I want to more than anything. On the other if anyone ever finds out, I'm dead.

Of course I pick the former. I think I was dropped on the head as a baby. That would explain this. Why she's curled up beside me naked whispering everything that makes her her and why I'm telling her my secrets.

Damn it. Leave it to me to make a problem more complicated than it already is. Although, she's half to blame for this complication.


	4. Chapter 4

Vera's asleep. She looks so calm when she's sleeping. I want her to be awake because I want to spend this last night with her talking and laughing and having fun, but I can't. She needs to sleep. She told me after we… you know… that she dreams of me. Dreams of us getting married and living together. She says she's so happy in her dreams, and she's so sad when she wakes up.

I'm a bit ashamed to say that I never remember my dreams. I wish I did. I bet they're about her.

She curls and somehow gets even closer to me. I wish this wasn't the only night we had.

I wonder if I had realized how much I liked her a year earlier if we would have had a year more together. I know it's not good to dwell on the past but I wonder.

Because we would've had ample time to spend together. I mean, if my brother and cousin weren't off at one of their little friend's houses, they were at ours. And they were at our house a lot. Their whole gang more or less traveled in a pack, even after school hours. Scorpious, Al, Michael, Jackson, Elena, Rose, and Vera. They were always together. Sometimes I think they would be in our house and Al wouldn't. I'm actually positive.

Our parents were all supportive. Aunt Hermione especially. I think she was more excited over the prospect of having inter-house unity more than she was that Rose, who drove most people up the wall, had friends. None of us kids ever really had the heart to tell her that most the school thought their little group of friends were freaks in the eyes of most of the school.

But anyway, I get sidetracked too easily. My thoughts need to learn to focus. But then again, it is midnight, I've been up for a day trying not to think about the Vera's impending marriage, so I guess asking for focused thoughts is a bit like her not getting married: impossible.

Focus. Like I said, I think if I had maybe noticed why she was awesome in her third year instead of her fourth, we could've had more time.

I think I first really noticed her right before her fourth year and my fifth.

I'm not entirely sure where everyone else was at this time. I think they were getting food with my parents. I will never understand why grocery shopping with my family was considered bonding time, but usually everyone went. But I didn't go that time. I faked sick. The last thing I wanted to do was spend another outing around those weird-os from my school that I had the misfortune of being related to.

I was wandering down our upstairs hallway, enjoying the peace and quiet, when the bathroom door opened. Vera came out, her eyes rimmed with red. I still think that is the first out of three times I've seen her cry, though to get her to confess to it is like pulling teeth.

She was old for her grade; she had missed the cut off to be in my year by two weeks. She looked older than most the girls in my year though. I think what I'm trying to explain to you is that she was very attractive, I just had never noticed.

_"What?"_ she sort of barked at me.

I remember reaching for her face, because I saw a tear fall down. She pulled back. _"What?" _she asked again, though the bite was gone from her voice. She just sounded sad then.

_"I just… uh… I was… What's wrong?" _I'm not a subtle man. And I had even less tact as a kid.

She laughed. _"I'm getting married to a douchebag, that's what's wrong." _ Vera has always been really blunt when she's angry. I kind of awkwardly patted her arm. I mean, how do you respond to that?

_"Oh, uhm… I'm sorry?_" I remember a really long moment of silence. _"To whom?" _I asked. I think I thought that I could make her feel better about her future husband. I know you're thinking, how could you believe her? I just did. She doesn't lie about big things. I mean, daily I think she lies about four-hundred times about little inconsequential things. But things that could make her cry. She doesn't joke about those things.

_"Lycus Chilling." _She said. She was regaining her composure. I was losing mine. I think I liked her before this little conversation. I mean, she was (and is) funny in a really sarcastic way, pretty in an obvious and sort of scary way, and had (has) a big heart that she liked to hide in a funny way. I think that's why I swore and punched a wall when she said his name.

My mom put a jinx on our house. You swear or hit something and she's not there to personally punish you, slime will come and hit you in the face. Really this jinx only applied to me.

I'm glad I swore though. Because as soon as I was covered in slime Vera laughed for what I think was twenty minutes.

I think that was the first time I had ever heard her properly laugh. It was pretty.

Vera's awake now.

"What if I just don't go?" she whispers. I wonder if she was even really.

"You have to."

"I don't _have _to," she protests.

I close my eyes and all of a sudden I remember another time we were alone together, a not so happy memory. "You'll die."

She's silent for a minute. I hope that she was just asking figuratively or some shit like that. God, I pray she is.

But of course she isn't. "So?"

I pull her close to me as that bad memory crashes down on me.

It was really early in the morning really close to the end of my fifth year. Like ungodly early. But it was my turn to send the Potter-Weasely clan mail, and if I wanted breakfast, I had to get up early to send all of it. Good God, there are a lot of us.

As I reached the top of the tower I saw Vera. She was leaning over the edge of the tower and gazing dreamily down below. She pulled out her wand and waved it and something happened to the air. I later learned she had learned how to take off the wards around the tower that kept kids from dying if they fell off accidently or… on purpose.

I kind of stood there, watching her, with roughly sixty-two parcels in my arms. She didn't see me. I couldn't figure out what she was doing.

Then she lifted one leg onto the edge and I figured it out.

My family still gives me grief about losing those parcels. At least seeing the girl I loved almost kill herself got me out of mail duty.

I grabbed her waist right before she jumped and pulled her back down hard. She landed on top of me. This would be time two that I saw her crying. She buried her head in my chest and just started sobbing. I was crying too.

I pulled us back so that our backs were resting on a wall. Somehow with her crying and me crying I pieced together from her story that Lycus wanted free reign to go and delight the queue of women that adored him, but as he is bound by the same curse that Vera is, he couldn't do so until she and he spent a grand ol' time in bed. She said no, and then he knocked her out. You can guess the rest.

I think I would've killed him if he had been there at that time.

After a while, she seemed to run out of tears and I somewhere along the line I stopped crying too. We were watching the sun rise when she kissed me.

I was in a bit of a shock and she seemed so scared when she pulled away. She stammered out an apology before I kissed her back. It was a desperate kiss. I think I tried to put into words how much I didn't want her to ever die.

"So, I can't let you die."

She turns onto her stomach so she can face me. "What if I'll be emotionally dead?"

I look into her eyes. "But you won't ever be. That's what's so great about you. I know you won't. You'll be sad, but you'll always have Al, Lily, Scorp, Jack, Elena, and Mike. You'll find a way."

She looks so sad. "But I want you."

I wonder if I look as sad. "But if you live there's a chance that one day Lycus will kick the bucket and we can be together."

She laughs a little. "Kick the bucket?"

I love that she laughed. Lightens the mood. "You don't like my wordage?"

"I think it's a bit… folksy." She says. Praise the Lord, there was superiority in her voice. She's coming out of her depressed state.

What I don't tell her, mainly because we're now being light and happy and pretending like she's got forever to be in my arms, is that if she dies, I think I'll die too. I know that's dramatic. But the thought of her dead just petrifies me. I think it would be like those old couples. Where one person dies and the other dies a few hours after.

Maybe I'm just selfish. Maybe I just don't want to be in misery alone. Maybe… Or maybe I just think she's got more to give the world than just a corpse. At least alive and married to a dickwad she can still be in the world and live her life.

God, I hope I die before her. She could handle it. I couldn't.


	5. Chapter 5

I haven't slept tonight yet. Vera nodded off, for real this time, a few hours ago. She has taken all of the blankets and formed some sort of nest with them and is curled up in them. She was sleeping next to me, but then I walked off to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was all bird-like and sound asleep.

There's no reason to wake her up. It's one o'clock. She gets married in eight hours.

The thought makes me sick.

So, because I'm an immature twenty-six year old and I can't really handle my emotions, I went into the kitchen and grabbed a beer. I returned to my room with it because even though she was asleep, I didn't want her to be alone.

I remember telling her that the day after I caught her on the tower.

_"I don't want you to be alone."_ I muttered as I found her sitting by the lake. She had her shoes off and was soaking her feet in the water. She put her hand to block the sun to see my face better.

_"Well then sit down."_ And that was the beginning of a not-so-secret secret romance. And by that I mean, all of her friends knew about it, and so did the entirety of Hogwarts, and so did my family, but her family and amazingly, as I learned later, Lycus's family, were left entirely in the dark about it.

Neither really cared to have to sit through that lecture from their parents.

I learned why she had to marry that ass during one of her visits to Hogsmede in her seventh year. I really wasn't a promising student. I'm afraid I was a bit of a disappointment in that way to my parents. So I kind of learned how to job hop. How I've managed to keep a flat, though it is by no means large, is a mystery to me. So anyway… What was I saying? Oh right, Hogsmede. I was working in the Three Broomsticks at the time. Mainly because then I'd get to see her and partly because I could keep an eye on this bizarre budding romance between the son of my father's nemesis and my sister.

I still don't understand how that happened. Although, I don't have any room to talk, look who I'm pining over.

And one day, while I was working the bar, a small, ancient witch came in. I could not figure out who she was. She carried herself in a familiar way though… I should've guessed right away that she was Vera's grandmother right away.

_"So… young man,"_ she addressed me.

I was very confused by this point in time. Who the hell was this lady and why was she was talking to me?

_"You've been seeing my granddaughter."_ I dropped the glass I was holding. Jesus Christ, that freaked me out.

_"Wha—"_

_ "Hush child,"_ she waved her wand and the glass repaired itself and floated back to the counter. _"My granddaughter tells me everything."_

_ "Oh… okay?"_ I was still confused.

_"Has she told you?"_

_ "Wha—"_

_ "That she will be marrying Lycus?"_

Of course she had. God, I was a bit annoyed and put off by this woman. You could only be reminded of the worst fact in all of existence so many times before you wanted to rip someone's head off.

_ "Of course." _I muttered resentfully.

_"Don't get snippy with me!" _she smacked me on the head. _"I'm trying to help you."_

_ "How?" _I asked, rubbing my scalp.

_"By keeping you… and Vera… from broken hearts." _Can you already tell how much I listened to this very wise woman?

_"Wha—"_

_ "You need to stop saying that; it makes you seem awfully unintelligent."_

I just stared at her. "_Why?" _I finally muttered.

_"Because their fathers are greedy. And they want more money. And the easiest way to do this is to have their children marry."_

_ "I still don't—"_

_ "Wait till I'm finished! Good Lord, now I see what Vera means." _That really piqued my interest. Although, to this day I never have figured out what Vera told her grandmother about me. She had sighed, _"They were bound by an Unbreakable Vow when they were four. They have to get married and stay faithful once married by the time Vera is twenty-five or they both die."_

I've never felt quite okay since then. It felt like a huge kick in the stomach. I first felt betrayed by Vera, but then her god-like grandmother, god rest her soul, talked me down. Vera was afraid to lose me, which was mildly comforting to know that someone loved me like that, especially when that someone was her. And then I just got very angry at her parents, whom her grandmother joined in bashing for hours.

Vera knew that I knew. But we never brought it up.

We kept dating for years. We're sadistic and masochistic bastards. But we couldn't convince ourselves ever to break it off.

Until her dad nearly killed me. At a party for her older sister he caught us kissing. God only know what he would've done if he had caught us doing the kinds of things we did tonight. But he almost killed me with an unforgivable curse. Then Vera walked in front of me and promised to leave. She didn't even look back at me as her dad dragged her away.

I bet she cried. She'd deny it. That moment sucks even worse than most of the suck-tastic moments we've had together.

Vera is awake again, eyes peeking through the blankets. She untangles herself and beckons me to bed. We lie together and I pull the covers over us.

We're fine in here. We're together here.

We're not talking anymore. Which is sad, because we talk so much about so many things, we're never bored. I hate this. I hate her parents, I hate Lycus, I hate that I love her, I hate that I hate I love her. Shit…

"James…" she whispered.

"Yeah Vera?"

"I love you, so very much," then her body curls to fit mine and she's asleep again… I think.

"I love you too…" I whisper.

I think this is going to kill me.


	6. Chapter 6

She's gone. How is she gone? I lied down by her for a minute and closed my eyes and now she's gone.

There's a note nearby my table. _I had to._ She had written. Then she had left. That _bitch_. I'm so mad. I'm pissed. She left without saying goodbye.

I'm not really mad. It's just a preferable emotion to utter depression. She left because she doesn't like to cry. And she's cried too much in front of me in her mind. So she left so she didn't cry. I'd like to think she left because I would be too emotional to let her go, but that's probably giving her too much credit in the unselfish department.

So now I'm sitting on my couch, staring at the door, because I'm a bit pathetic. And I don't know what to do. All I can do is sit and wait. Wait for my clock to hit the time she says her vows and then tick away the time she isn't mine. Vera will be married because her dad was a greedy, selfish ass and there's nothing I can do about it.

I look down at my hands, trying to figure out what I'm going to do.

And because I'm a masochist, I decide to go to her wedding.

It's not really going against her wishes. She hinted at it once. She doesn't like to face hard things alone. She's a bit of a coward that way. But then again, so am I. If this was happening to me, I would want her to be there.

So I am going.

Al has an invitation, all her friends do. I'll just tag along…

So… These people are rich. I seriously think I'm bringing down the value of this place just by sitting in this garden. All of Vera's friends sit well in front of me. Her grandmother and aunts and mother sit in front of them. They all share some sort of resigned aura. It's like this is the shit we have to help her put up with we might as well pretend it's not god awful. I would like to sit by them. But I think I've stated I'm a bit of a coward.

So I'm in the back, basically covered by a plant. I heard someone say that she'll pass out this door going to the altar. I can touch her hand. She'll know it's me. And maybe she won't feel so alone.

I'm not alone in my solitude. Some guy is back here too. He's got the same look as me: heartbroken. Why would he look heartbroken?

I rack my brain for where I've seen him before, because I know that I know him. He's dressed very smartly, and that seems important for some reason. Like this was a kid who made his uniform somehow neater and better looking than everyone else's… He was in my class… He was that snotty Slytherin in my Herbology class.

The hell is his name?

Snotty Slytherin looks over at me and seems a bit startled, as if he just saw me there. Why is he here? I can't ever remember seeing him around Lycus. He is older than he is.

He gives me this sort of nod. "Fine day for a wedding," he sighs quietly.

"Sure," I hesitatingly say. I kind of want to punch him. Don't talk to me today you pretentious ass, I'm not in the mood. I give him a glare and hope he gets the idea.

He doesn't. "Too bad there won't be one."

I about knock over the plant I'm sitting by. What in the hell is he talking about? Why would he say that? "What—What are you talking about?" I whisper-shout.

He just looks at me sadly. "There won't be a wedding."

Now he clams up. He always was an ass, this Snotty Slytherin. Why would he say something like that? He must be in league with Lycus. I hate them all.

We sit in silence. Not just me and the Snotty Slytherin. Everyone is quiet. No one wants this wedding except the two men who arranged it in the first place. This is the most awkward wedding I have ever had the misfortune to attend.

Just when we've all had enough, someone bursts out the doors into the garden. It's a little houself wearing clothes. One of this households many cast off houselves that Vera's mother takes in. I met her once. She's nice.

The little thing is crying. Poor thing. Vera's mother bolts up and rushes over to her and try to comfort her. "What's wrong, Dearie?" she asks in her light voice.

"DEAD!" she shouts.

There's a tumult of noise, but I don't really hear it. I'm already out of the garden. I've been her once before, I know where Vera sleeps… Yeah, let your mind wander there, except don't.

If she's dead, I… I…

Shit. I don't know.


	7. Chapter 7

She's not in her room. She's not in her hiding spot in the attic. She's not in the garden. She's not in the kitchen. Where the hell is she?

I think I may have a panic attack. For all I know, she may not be dead. Maybe Lycus keeled over and we get to live happily ever after. But I'm not very optimistic. I think she's dead. She's dead, she's dead, she's…

I literally slap myself. I need to find her. And if she really is… gone… I need to find her body. Because I just need to see her. I just need to hold her.

I don't know if that sounds creepy or not. I don't really care. I'm so far beyond caring. Well, not beyond caring. I'm just done caring about me. I need to find her.

Why is this house so goddamn big? There are five people who live here and like, ten house elves. Why do they need so many rooms? I hate who designed this house. I feel personally attacked by the architect. Like he is in some way in cahoots with Vera's dad and is trying to keep me away from her. Well, I'll show them.

I keep looking. I'm so close to a heart attack right now. She's nowhere to be found, there are house elves freaking out everywhere I go. People are near rioting downstairs. It's a mess. It's a bit nice to know that Vera's dad didn't get his way. I almost hit myself after this thought. Because if I was just in any way happy over the possibility that she could be dead, I will consider myself the worst of people. I might die from the shame. I might just die.

To stop myself the thoughts of what I'll do if she's dead, I keep looking. But there are too many rooms for me to check. And some are locked and Alohomora isn't working. Where is she…?

After an hour, I slump to the ground in her room. I am officially out of ideas of where she is. I don't know what to do. I start to cry. I don't care who sees me. The only one who I ever cared about seeing me cry is probably dead, so what the hell.

A house elf pops up in front of me, making me jump up and tumble backwards. I'm still crying by the way. I stand up and try to get a hold of myself.

This isn't the same house elf that came in the garden. She's smaller, a bit more timid. She shyly looks up at me and says, "My mistress is in her mother's room."

I'm not sure where that is. As I have stated, this house is unreasonably large. The little elf leads me forward by the hand. I don't ask if she's alive or not. Let me find out when I get there.

It takes us so long to get there. It's like a twenty minute walk from her room to where her mother sleeps. This house is too goddamn big. I like my small, dingy apartment more and more the longer I'm here.

We stop in front of an ornate door and she leaves my side. I gather up the small amount of courage I claim to have and walk in.

She's on the bed. She's in her wedding dress. She's not moving.

Shit.


	8. Chapter 8

I move slowly over to her. I can't tell if she's breathing. I'm such a coward, why can't I get closer to her. Am I just a wimp when it comes to the dead or does the knowledge that she's not going to wake up when I touch her scare me? It takes me much too long to get over to her.

But I guess I'm less of a coward than I thought, because I actually do get over to her. And I did it faster than I thought I would be able to.

I raise my hand slowly to touch her. This is it. She's dead and…

She lets out a snore. I collapse on the bed out of relief. I feel like there was a huge pressure in the world that I didn't know about, but now that it's gone, I feel so much better. I start to cry again. I am an emotional mess right now. I think that I may need some sort of therapy after today.

I don't notice that she's awake until she slaps me. "What. In. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing. Here." She hisses through her teeth. I look up. She's fine, she's totally fine. And what's even better is that she's got enough energy in her to be a bitch. I don't think I've ever been happier to be slapped.

She's turned over on the bed and is looking at me, her eyes doing that Medusa-look and staring me down, waiting for an answer. But this isn't having the effect it usually does. She's alive.

I grab one of her hands that she's propped her head up on and press it to my lips. She's shocked, I can tell that. "James…" she whispers. I walk around the bed with her eyes following me. She looks away once I lie down beside her and grab her hand. She's pretending to be annoyed, but she's gripping my hand like it's a lifeline.

I lean over and kiss her on the head and breathe in. Her hair has always smelled like vanilla. I think she's slowly regaining her senses. I knew that my charm could only last for so long. She dangerously mutters my name again and pulls away.

I slide to the floor and she sits up on the bed. We're still holding hands. I lean my head against her knees, the fabric of her dress partially covering my head. She puts her hand on my head and holds it there.

"I thought you were dead," I croak. I almost cry again.

She is suddenly by me. She's got a deadly serious look on her face, but it's not mean. "I wouldn't do that to you." I look down at our still linked hand and grip it tighter.

"I know. But a house elf said someone was dead."

She leans into me and she holds me as I start sobbing. This is embarrassing. But she's not saying anything about it; she's just here with me. Good Lord, what would I have done if she was actually dead?

I don't really care who is dead because she's here. But I know that she's itching to know who is. So I pull away from her embrace, even though there's nowhere else I'd rather be and help her to her feet. She smiles, goes on her tip-toes and kisses my nose. She can be so disgustingly adorable. I love it.

She pulls me by the hand and we walk out into the deserted hallway. She seems to have an idea who is dead. We wander aimlessly through the house. At least it feels that way to me. But she seems to have an idea of where we're going.

We finally stop somewhere that is fairly close to the gardens. The door is slightly open and there is someone quietly weeping inside. The lights are out and the only light is from a small window facing the garden.

We peer into the room. Vera's face could've been carved out of granite. She knows what she's going to find. I don't.

There's that snotty Slytherin kid in there. He looks utterly broken, like something vital has been taken away. He looks like… I did when I couldn't find Vera.

He's holding something. I squint to try and figure out what it is and then I notice it's a man. Well… It's Lycus. He's dead. And that Slytherin kid is holding him like I'd hold Vera. I'm confused for a moment, but then my brain slowly clicks the pieces into place and it makes sense. I told you I'm not the brightest.

Vera quietly draws out her wand. She's not using her wand hand though. I have that one, and I don't intend on letting it go. She awkwardly holds it and slowly lifts it to where it's level with the Slytherin kid.

He's crying too hard to notice us. He clumsily yanks out his wand and fumbles with it for a moment. He begins to lift it to his head, but Vera's got it out of his hands. She was a much better student than I. I never got the hang of nonverbal spells. She's got them down so well that it's mildly frightening.

He looks over at us and Vera walks in. He looks away from us around and she kneels in front of him. "Erik," she gently says, "He wanted you to live and be happy. That's why he did it." He looks up at her and nods slowly. She grabs his wand and puts it by his lap. He doesn't make a move to get it.

She comes over to me and hugs me. We walk quietly out of the room and she slips her hand back into mine. I don't think I've ever seen her look so tired.

Her dress rustling is the only noise we hear. Things seem to have died down below and I wonder if we should go and talk to people, tell them what happened.

Vera isn't having that. She pulls me far away from the crowds and noise. I guess they can wait…

We're in her bedroom. She's in a tank top and her underwear and I'm in some sweatpants left over from when I used to visit with my brother and his friends. She's curled by my side. We're not talking or doing anything really. We're too tired to do anything except lie down by each other. It's been an emotionally draining day.

After hours of silence and thinking, she looks up at me. "I love you," she breathes.

I bring her closer to me. It doesn't hurt this time. Because now she's mine. I know I shouldn't be rejoicing over a death, but how could I not? She's mine. She's alive and she's mine.

We'll talk tomorrow. We'll deal with people tomorrow. This is enough for tonight.


	9. Chapter 9

**Epilogue**

Vera explained it all to us the day after her wedding was… we'll say canceled, for lack of a better word.

Lycus was gay. The Erik kid, he was his boyfriend. Vera learned all of this the night before her wedding. Lycus came into her room and told her that there wasn't going to be a wedding. At first she thought he was going to kill her, she had her wand all ready to fight him off and everything. Then he explained that he didn't like her (something that was obvious to even the most oblivious observer by the way), he didn't even like her gender.

She was really shocked, but she still didn't get why there wasn't going to be a wedding. Then she put it together. _He _was going to die. At first she had a hard time believing someone who loved themselves as much as he did was going to die. But then, she told her audience, she looked in his eyes and she just _knew _he was telling the truth_. _She told me privately that she thought it was because his dad would kill Erik if he ever found out they loved each other, and apparently Lycus really did love this kid.

She wondered why he told her. I mean, why not just surprise. He knew she wouldn't talk him out of it. But as he walked away he told her that he would be in the guest room by the garden and then asked her to make sure his boyfriend lived through it all. I will never understand why she agreed to his request, but she did. I guess she cares about people more than I've ever given her credit for.

But all of this was a long time ago. It happened years ago.

Now we're at a different wedding, a much, much happier one.

It's my sister's. Little Lily is getting married to Scorpius Malfoy, of all people.

There are so many people here; I wonder how the Malfoys are even taking it. You can see the small knot of blonde somewhere near the front, clustered together. As if they could protect their family from being defiled by the Weasley/Potter family just by huddling together. It's kind of funny.

My family fills the rest of the seats. Well, there are a few for Scorpius' friends, but half of them are my family so… And I guess Lily's got a couple of friends here as well, but I have long since lost track of where they settled.

The music starts to play and we all turn to see my sister, trailed by some cousins, looking happier than I've ever seen her. We all stand up as she walks past. Vera's right by me. She squeezes my arm. "Oh, she looks gorgeous," she hummed.

I turn to her and smile, it's not often she comments on anyone's appearance in a good way. I don't miss a beat as I tell her, "Not as gorgeous as you."

She gives me a playful slap on the arm, "I'm aware of how I look. But shush, this is Lily's day." We sit down with the crowd. We listen to them exchange vows and all the mush and what not. I can't really focus. Vera's leaning on my arm and slowly running her thumb over my hand. It is remarkably distracting. I can't believe that after years, sometimes these little touches still make it hard to focus.

"They're a bit young," I murmur as they continue talking.

"And what were we, wise old sages?" she retorts quietly.

I let out a small laugh. We sit quietly through the rest of the ceremony. Then, all of a sudden, my baby sister is married. It's almost too much to happen. Al getting married was one thing, but I still see her as the little girl who turned me into a slug when we were very little and not in control of our magic. Vera nudged me to get me out of my memories.

We stand and the couple walks down the aisle. My sister catches Vera's eye. Vera points down to her slightly swollen belly and then winks. Lily blushes and passes by with her husband. I roll my eyes. Leave it to her to make a pregnancy a dirty thing.

Slowly the chairs begin to empty as my family goes to congratulate the couple. We sit quietly in our chairs. Well, as quiet as Vera can be. Vera's babbling about how so and so's outfit looks like a train wreck or so and so from school has gained _so _much weight and how it really doesn't suit him. I just sit and listen. It's nice, being with her like this.

God, I love her.


End file.
